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Mommy and Me
The Importance of One-on-One Time By Carma Haley Shoemaker
"I think it is so essential for mothers to spend one-on-one time with their sons," says Michelle Pearson from Leaf River, Ill. "Showing a son how affection, respect and patience play a part in a woman's life is so important to helping a son understand women and treat them accordingly."
"If your going to give a child one-on-one time, let them choose how they spend it," says Martha Pieper, co-author of Smart Love (Harvard Common Press, 2001)and columnist for the Chicago Parent. "This provides the best benefit of the time together. Everyone else's needs oftentimes determine how a parent's time gets spent, especially with younger children. This is not the time to get the child to practice their spelling words or do a chore. Ask the child: 'What do you want to do?' He may want to kick a ball, hear a story or play a game. Just the fact that he has his parents' attention and he can choose what activity they can do together will do wonders for the child."
Making special memories between parents and children can be as simple as taking a picture, finding a souvenir of the occasion or just being able to mention the special date or place to remember the time spent together. These memories do not have to cost anything. Parents often mistake spending money for attention. Some feel that if they purchase the special shoes or toy that their child has been wanting, they have given their child the attention they need and desire. "A child will not choose spending money over spending time," says Pieper. "A paret cannot substitute their attention, affection or love with gifts. In order for the child to benefit from the one-on-one interaction, the parent must give their undivided attention, nothing more."