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Coping with an Empty Nest
When Your Youngest Leaves Home
By Felicia Hodges
It is not unusual for parents to become depressed once their last child leaves the nest. "But often, those feelings are temporary and pass relatively quickly, especially if the child is doing well in life, be it college or a new career," Dr. Fleischer says.
Carr's feelings of loss intensified once she arrived home.
"The first month was the hardest," she says. "You're so used to catering to [your child], and then you've suddenly got all this time on your hands." She had to adjust, making smaller meals and missing the swim meets Nate competed in as a high school student. But eventually, she adopted a routine that helped her adapt to life with two people under the roof instead of three. This included giving more attention to her husband, Steve, a benefit she says he loved.
"It is an excellent time for the parents to re-connect as partners," Dr. Fleischer says. "Sometimes the role of parent overruns the role of wife or husband and the relationship can stagnate as a result. Many couples use the time to get to know each other all over again."
One of the biggest adjustments parents have to make is getting accustomed to a slower-paced lifestyle. "Especially if the nest is empty because the child went off to college, Mom and Dad no longer have to keep track of their child's schedule or even gt him or her to and from events and school functions anymore," Dr. Fleischer says. "Suddenly, they find they aren't so pressed for time and have more of it at their disposal." He adds that parents who find constructive ways to fill this extra time – with a hobby or a part-time job – tend to have an easier transition.
