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Keeping Your Spirits Up
Recognizing and Avoiding Depression
By Kelly Burgess
As Mintz makes clear, advice is easy to give and not so easy to take, but she does have a lot of insight for caregivers on how to avoid depression. First, she says, it's important to avoid a sense of victimization. She notes that family caregiving is something that often either creeps up on you or comes as a sudden shock. For example, in the first case, perhaps Mom is fine for a long time, and then the effects of aging start creeping up and she needs more and more care. In the second case, perhaps a spouse has a stroke and it happens overnight.
"In a sense, we fall into caregiving," Mintz says. "In most cases, we can't physically walk away from it, and, because it's our loved ones, we probably wouldn't if we could. But we have to make a conscious statement by saying, 'I'm choosing to do this.' It puts you in a different place and makes you feel like you have some control. This also helps you make other choices as they need to be made."
Having said that, Mintz stresses this does not mean the caregiver should give himself or herself over to caregiving to the exclusion of all else, nor should they lose themselves in the process. This may mean making tough decisions such as bringing in outside help even if the loved one is against the idea of having their family intimacy invaded. But, Mintz says, self-preservation is the first law of caregiving.
