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Bye Bye, Babysitter
Help Your Toddler Cope After a Beloved Sitter Leaves
By Shel Franco
Aside from helping your child to feel secure on a daily basis, a strong bond encourages your child to grow and learn as well. "With a bond in place, the toddler would probably be more likely to use the caregiver as a role model for what I would hope would be appropriate behavior," Dr. Arinoldo says.
The stronger the bond, the more benefits to your child – and the more difficult to cope when the bond is broken.
When your sitter breaks the news that her employment by you is coming to an end, you may find yourself faced with a barrage of emotions. No matter what, you should do your best to remain calm and supportive, Dr. Arinoldo says. "The parents may be very upset that they are losing a trusted caregiver, but they should not exhibit this in the presence of the child – either verbally or nonverbally," he says. "They should also never say anything negative about the impending departure or about the caregiver to the child. After all, the child may have a bond with that person and cares for that person. In short, the parents need to keep everything positive for the sake of the child."
Dr. Arinoldo offers these additional ideas for how to keep things positive:
- Make (with the child) or buy a card for the soon-to-be absent caregiver.
- Buy a small gift for the child to give the caregiver.
- Encourage the child to give the caregiver a picture of himself/herself.
Talking about the situation with your child may prove to be difficult, but it's an important part of the pocess. "When explaining the situation to the toddler, answer the child's questions, but as briefly as possible," Dr. Arinoldo says. "The child will probably not understand any long explanations in the first place. In speaking, the parents need to use very simple language, be concrete and stay positive. They could also reassure the toddler that they will find someone very nice to take care of him or her."
