Preventing Burnout

The Importance of Taking Personal Vacations, Mini Breaks and Afternoons Off

By Teri Brown

No one on the planet is busier than a mother of small children. Whether she works outside the home or not, Mom is usually multitasking on some level all day long. With all that mental, physical and emotional energy being expended, it's no wonder she tends to become overwhelmed. The stress this generates can take a serious toll on her general well-being.

Jeff Palitz is a licensed marriage and family therapist currently practicing in San Diego, Calif. He believes it is important for all moms to get breaks from their daily lives. "Stress and anxiety have a cumulative impact on how people function," he says. "The longer we go without taking a break, the less likely we are to parent how we intend. Lack of rest and excessive fatigue both increase our stress levels and decrease our ability to cope with anxiety. To maintain the level of patience that is necessary to parent effectively, moms must recharge their batteries."

According to Palitz, many moms feel it is their duty to be present for their children nearly all the time. Most moms spend an incredible amount of energy working to provide an enriching, balanced life for their kids. These efforts are important, but many moms can end up sacrificing their own interests, goals and basic personal needs in their efforts to accomplish this goal.

"They tell themselves that if they can just power through the next 10 years (plus or minus) until their children are out of the house, there will be plenty of time for taking breaks and pursuing their own interests," Palitz says. "Unfortunately, moms who dedicate their entire existence to raising their kids often lose a sense of what makes them individuals, and when their kids leave, they feel lost trying to redefine themselves. Even moms who work can be left feeling unfulfilled. Over time, this loss of self can breed resentment (of husband, kids, career) and cause behaviors that are contrary to the kind of parent they want to be. And, in some cases, their tireless dedication can actually backfire. If kids don't see their moms leading balanced lives and they consistently see Mom sacrificing her needs for others, they will lack a role model for how to achieve balance themselves."

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