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Bonding From the Beginning

Use Baby's Senses to Create That Special Connection

By Kelly Burgess

(Chronicle Books, 1999), says getting to know your new baby and building an attachment to him is the most important goal of the first few weeks.

"What babies do in those first few days is study the parts of the face with the most contrast, like the hairline and jaw line," says Harris. "Cuddling your baby, making eye contact during feedings and skin-to-skin contact will allow the two of you to learn about each other together."

– Coo softly to your baby, saying his or her name over and over. Emphasize certain words, "Such a good baby." Studies have shown that women tend to speak in a higher pitched voice to a newborn baby. Women with multiple children will talk at a different tone to each of their children – higher in descending order of age. Women with quite a few children positively squeak by the time they get to their youngest!

– Baby strongly identifies with your smell. Again, studies have shown that both newborns and mothers can identify each other by sense of smell. This familiar smell soothes Baby and helps him feed well.

Be careful not to overwhelm your baby. Watch for clues that he or she is done with sensory stimulation. Cues include breaking eye contact, eye rubbing, frowning, yawning or even a slight change of mood. Babies can't handle sensory stimulation for more than a few minutes when they're very young.

Ricki Wieselthier of Orlando, Fla., knows each baby is different. Her triplets, Zachary, Lindsey and Hannah, have always had distinct personalities. She says she noticed it even during the first few weeks of their lives when they were still in the neonatal intensive care unit. "Zachary is still a charmer, Lindsey is still very independent and Hannah is still such a sweet, quiet child," she says.

Believe it or not, this tiny, helpless, seemingly clueless little person will give you many clues as to what he likes and dislikes. Most babies love to be swaddled, but if yours keeps kicking off the swaddling, give it up.

The same rules apply to playing. Some babies are naturally more social than others, and some are more quiet and self-contained. It's important to put aside any preconceived notions you may have and allow your baby's personality to grow in its own way.

"Newborns seem so similar that it's easy to assume you already know them," says Harris. "Be open to the fact that you don't know each other, and whether this is your first child or your sixth, this child is very different from any other."

Want to see more?

• BabyFace Album
• Talk about it!
• Brain Builders: Stimulating Activities for Your 1-Month-Old Baby
• Family Energy Magazine
• Bonding for Life: Developing That Special Connection With Your Baby
• The First Year: Birth to 3 Months

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