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The Effects of Divorce on Toddlers
Tips for Making the Transition Easier on Small Children
By Emily Mendell
For this reason, parents must understand how separation or divorce can possibly impact their toddlers and work to minimize fears and anxiety. Dr. Greenberg recommends communicating the change in the family dynamic with toddlers who are old enough to have a vocabulary to respond, usually children around the age of 2 and certainly with children who are 3 years old. By that age, the toddler will likely understand that something is different. Honesty is extremely important.
"If there are gaps in your story, the child will come up with reasons for the change that could be a lot scarier than what the reality is," Dr. Greenberg says.
Carla considered waiting until Andrew asked about his dad's absence before explaining the situation to him. Dr. Greenberg recommends a more proactive approach. "Parents often think it's best to follow a child's lead," she says. "But if parents don't bring up the topic, the child might get the sense that it's not OK to talk about it."
It is important when communicating to the child that both parents offer reassurances that life will remain stable and safe. Some suggested age-appropriate language includes the following:
- "Mommy and Daddy won't be living in the same house anymore but..."
- "You will still get to see Mommy and Daddy."
- "You can talk to Mommy or Dddy whenever you want."
