quick clicks

moms today articles

moms today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Baby No. 3

What Do You Do When Just One's Content with Two Children?

By Emily Mendell

"The decision should not be driven by an individual," Ripken says. "You are part of a whole unit and must ask yourself: What is the greater good for the entire family."

When no progress is being made toward resolution it often can be helpful to mutually agree to wait and revisit the situation after a few months. But ultimately, if the impasse remains, healthy closure is required. "You can only have so many conversations about the decision," Ripkin says. "Eventually you have to stop."

In the case where one person wants the third but has to give up this plan, expect a mourning process that includes denial, sadness and anger. These feelings of compromise should be recognized and appreciated by the prevailing spouse. Communication about feelings is paramount. Eventually, this person can come to a resolution by recognizing why the third child was important in the first place and trying to address that need elsewhere in a positive manner.

This guidance was helpful and I began to look at all sides of the equation rationally. I was not terribly enthusiastic about another seven years of childcare costs. I didn't particularly relish the first three years of baby proofing and not being able to shower without calling in reserves. And we were really just starting to be able to move quickly as a family, in and out of the car, to parties and family events and on vacations without a stroller or sippy cups. nd despite my feeble attempts to convince my husband that "I promise I'll take care of it all by myself," we both knew better.

Want to see more?

• Baby Gear Safety: Should You Use Second-hand Equipment?
• Arguing Over Baby Names: Why Do Problems Arise and How Can Couples Overcome Them?
• The Turnaround: Unexpectedly Stepping into Parenthood
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!