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Getting Attached to Attachment Parenting

What Does It Mean, How Does It Work and Is It Right for You?

By Mark Stackpole

No matter what parenting style a family adopts, it is important to realize that trying to "do it all" is likely asking too much. Attachment parenting is an emotional investment, and it is important for parents to maintain their own sense of well-being in order to help their child do the same.

"There are no perfect parents," Stone says. "It is important for parents to set realistic goals for themselves and to remember to take care of their own needs, too. Babies depend on parents to offer emotional regulation. If a parent is out of balance and not taking care of herself, she becomes emotionally deregulated and unable to satisfy her child."

Every parent wants to have a healthy and happy baby. Though there is not a single correct path in pursuit of this goal, attachment parenting offers a comprehensive look at the power and positive influence that parents and infants can have on each other.

Like many attachment parents, Taylor believes that this philosophy has created stronger bonds between him and his children. "It has offered me a closer relationship," he says. "More fun. More loving moments. There's really nothing quite like waking up and having a tiny little baby gazing rapturously at your face, just waiting for the moment when you regain consciousness and can play."

Listen up, Parents Developing a parenting style is a tremendous challenge, and parents can often feel like they are subjected to the judgments of others and need to defend their choices. As there is no perfect way to parent, it is important to know when to listen, and to whom you should be listening. "Listen to your baby and believe him when he tells you he isn't happy," says Pam Stone, managing director of Attachment Parenting International. "Be cautious of any advice that tells you to do something that makes your baby unhappy, regardless of [who] it is coming from. If you are happy and your baby is happy, and it feels right, then it probably is!"

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• Talk about it!

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