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A Special Outing With Grandma

New Parents Helping Grandparents Spend Quality Time with Baby

By Sue Poremba

When my daughter was 11 months old, my father announced a trip to a local amusement park. He quickly added to me and my husband, "You two aren't invited. Enjoy some time alone." Then he and my mother whisked off their first grandchild for a few hours of rides on the merry-go-round and games at the duck pond. My daughter doesn't remember this day, except through pictures, but it was the first step to what has become a very close relationship between grandchild and grandparents.

The bond between grandparent and grandchild is special, so, if at all possible, it is good to get an early start.

"I think it's important for the kids to spend time with their grandparents to promote a family bond," says Carmen Staicer of Virginia Beach, Va. "The care that a grandparent can give a child is personal and special – they have a vested interest in the well-being of the child."

"Grandparents provide a sense of support in chaotic times, a safe place, the feeling that the grandchildren are not alone in the world," says Dr. Susan Newman, author of Little Things Mean a Lot: Creating Happy Memories with Your Grandchildren (Random House/Crown, 1996).

The younger the child, the more apprehensive most parents are about letting anyone else be alone with the baby or toddler – even grandparents. Dr. Newman suggests that to ease the transition for the new parents, invite the grandparents over to spend some time at the house with the baby while you are around. Even though deep down parents understand that the grandparents are capable, they have to prove it, Dr. Newman says.

No matter how capable the grandparents are, you just know they aren't going to do things the "right" way, which, of course, is your way. By inviting the grandparents to spend time at your home, you can show them how you structure your day – when naptimes are, when you provide snacks, etc. – and how you go about your childcare duties, Dr. Newman says. Offer to let the grandparents help you so they understand what your rules and your way of doing things are.

Want to see more?

• Check out our Article Library.
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• Special Gifts: The Influence of Grandparents
• Talk about it!

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