- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- moms today articles
- moms today q&a
- message boards
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
 |
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Mediate ... Me? (Yes, You)
10 Ways to Help People Settle Their Differences
Coworkers engaged in power struggles. Bickering siblings. Neighbors clashing over whose dog dug up whose tulips. Conflict happens. It happens a lot. And whether or not you are directly in the line of fire, when people around you are fighting, it doesn't feel good.
That's why if you're like most people, your first impulse is to "stay out of it." Sound approach, right? Not 
necessarily, says renowned mediator Jeffrey Krivis. Indeed, he says, helping people settle their disputes is a skill whose time has come.
"In times of economic and geopolitical stress, it seems that fuses are shorter," says Krivis, author of Improvisational Negotiation: A Mediator's Stories of Conflict about Love, Money, Anger – and the Strategies That Resolved Them (Jossey-Bass, 2006). "Even people who are normally placid can have a flare up of temper when they're worried about, say, losing their job or meeting an impossible deadline or paying for yet another $75 tank of gas. The result? More conflict. The world needs more cool-headed people who can step in and help bring harmony to chaotic relationships."
So why should you care if your brother and sister are glaring at each other across the dinner table or if two colleagues are at each other's throats? Well, according to Krivis, conflict is inherently destabilizing. It disrupts systems. It tears apart families. It brings down prosperous companies. And that means the benefits you reap from being part of a harmonious family or a smoothly operating business can be diminished or even lost altogether.
"Anytime two people in your world are fighting, it does affect you," Krivis says. "As anger grows and people start choosing sides, the negative consequences of conflict only multiply. Even if you haven't been pulled into the fray yet, at some point you likely will be. So helping people resolve their conflicts is not just a nice thing to do, it actually benefits you in the long run."
