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Dads Are New to the Job, Too
Helping Your Partner Settle into Fatherhood
By Alex Powell
Let him do it his way. So you're going out to lunch with your girlfriends for the first time since the birth – and leaving your partner alone with the baby for the first time. Worried things won't get done properly? Don't, says Brott.
"[New moms] need to take a big deep breath and maybe relax their standards a little bit," says Brott. While the baby might have a little spit-up on his collar or the house might not be as straight as you like, it's important to allow your partner room to learn, grow and even make some minor mistakes. Your baby will be fine.
"Let him alone to do what he needs to do, and at the end of the day, there's a very good chance that your family will end up with two ways of doing things, which will be better for your partner, better for you and better for your baby," says Brott.
Don't take it personally or feel threatened when he suggests a different way of doing something. Everyone from your mother-in-law to the clerk in the grocery store has a "helpful hint" for you lately. You're struggling with raging hormones, raging exhaustion and a raging newborn, and these kinds of suggestions can feel like an affront to your motherhood. After all, you're not feeling too confident yourself these days. But he's not your mother, mother-in-law or some busybody on the street. He's the dad, and he's finally getting the confidence to act like one. "All he's trying to do is help out," says Bishop.
Help him stand up to the stereotypes. "I think that we are still sort of in an in-between phase – between the kind of parenting that our fathers did and where guys of today are coming from," says Bishop. "The reality is that men today want to be involved with our children. The expectation is there, and the need is there."
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