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Dads Are New to the Job, Too
Helping Your Partner Settle into Fatherhood
By Alex Powell
"We consider it a milestone for a new father when he is alone with the baby for three or four hours," says Bishop. Find an opportunity to get out by yourself for a while (it'll do you good, too), and let Dad and Baby have some private time. "By the time you get back, he'll have figured out what to do, and when he does, he'll also know that he can do it," says Bishop.
The flip side of this, adds Bishop, is that many new moms are very focused on the baby and want things done their way, the "right" away. If Dad is feeling a little uncertain about his baby-care skills, this can aggravate the situation. "Moms need to be very careful to let Dad take care of the baby his way," says Bishop.
"I think a lot of new dads worry whether or not they'll 'measure up' – measure up to their expectations, their parents' or friends' expectations or even their partners' expectations," says Peter Gallanis, a dad of two in Des Plaines, Ill. "But what's important for not only a dad, but for both parents, is to be the best parent you can be without any comparisons to anyone else."
And if your partner seems nervous or uncertain, don't just jump in there. Show him what to do, says Bishop, then walk away. After all, everything you know about caring for Baby you've learned by practice. Let Dad build up his skills by simply using them.
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