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Becoming a Big Sib

Preparing Toddlers for a New Baby

By Alexandria Powell

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Let your toddler inspect the baby, and show him how to be gentle in an affirmative way, says Dr. Noll. "Avoid words like 'don't' or 'no' as much as possible," she says. "Accept their feelings, and try to reassure them through your actions."

Jealousy Will Happen
No matter how hard you try, you can't totally prevent jealousy. "In spite of all these efforts, it is likely that the older child will regress developmentally," says Dr. Wasserman. "Constipation, urinary accidents and infant-like behavior are all common and should not be concerning."

According to Dr. Wasserman, reassurance is the best medicine for both toddler and parents. Try to make sure you and your partner both spend time doing things alone with the older sibling. "Having a short time to read a story, take a walk around the block or go out on a quick errand may help the older child feel special again," he says.

Your toddler isn't really going to like sharing the spotlight. After all, who does? But she will adjust and will in fact benefit, says Dr. Wasserman. "All children need to adjust to the concept that they are a small, yet important, piece of overall society," he says. "Subsequent to this realization, she will be better able to get along with other children and adults."


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