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Becoming a Big Sib

Preparing Toddlers for a New Baby

By Alexandria Powell

A few weeks before her daughter's first birthday, Shannon Thorn learned she was expecting again. "We're still in shock," says Thorn of North Carolina, who will give birth to her second child later this year. "What this means for us – a co-sleeping, breastfeeding family – is that we're having to think about some major transitions a lot sooner than we'd planned to." Thorn has already started the weaning process and plans to gently transition her daughter to her own bed during the next several months. "We're hoping to have these transitions well in place before the new baby comes, so that that is the only adjustment we're all dealing with."

This is a good idea, says Dr. Lisa Noll, a faculty member at the Learning Support Center for Child Psychology at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. "One of the first ways you can ease your toddler's transition into being a big sibling is by making big changes well in advance of the birth or by putting them off until well after the baby is born."

When talking about the baby to your toddler, keep things realistic, advises Dr. Noll. "Don't tell your toddler that the new baby is going to be someone to play with them," she says. "That's a long way and a lot of tears down the road. If possible, let them see a newborn. Give them a sense of what a newborn is like." Reading books about new babies can also help, as can looking at your toddler's baby pictures and talking about how you cared for him as a baby.

Lori Land of Seneca, S.C., helped her oldest child adjust by getting him his own baby – a small stuffed monkey that came with a diaper, T-shirt and even a pacifier. "We also bought a set of toy bottles, and we talked to him about how we were going to feed the baby, and give the baby a [pacifier]," says Land. The Lands also set up their baby gear well ahead of time. "We even let Hunter pretend to be the baby sometimes by letting him sit in the infant carrier and lay in the crib," says Land. "He saw that being a baby wouldn't be much fun!"

Want to see more?

• Tiny Playmates: Welcoming Siblings with Smiles
• When Baby Meets Toddler: Helping Siblings Adjust to the Newest Family Member
• Family Introductions: Getting Siblings Ready for a New Baby
• Talk about it!

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