Setting Priorities

Keeping the Family Schedule on Track

By Sue Poremba

Hugh Bases, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician, says that it is importantfor families to make sure there is plenty of unstructured time in their lives. "Time set aside just for family lowers stress," he says.

Bases also suggests that parents develop priorities within their own family unit. "Make the strategy known by using consistency," he says. "For example, have dinner together every night without the television on and no phone interruptions. Everyone has to eat, and it is a social activity."

Learning to adapt to small priorities like that makes it easier for families to adapt when it seems like life is pushing at all directions and the calendar is completely booked.

"I believe that change is the only certainty in life, and I want to prepare my son to deal well with any situation in which he may find himself," saysRacina. "Pre-arranging a schedule can be important but often does not take into account the likelihood that circumstances will change, and does not prepare a child to have the flexibility to make intelligent decisions on his own."

Forman agrees. There are times when it is better to let children, especially older children, develop their own set of priorities. "Let the kids make their own choices, and let them figure out what they want to do," she says."And let them face the consequences."

"It can be difficult juggling it all, but I just do it on a day-to-day basis," says Buchanan. "That's really all anyone can handle."