Setting Priorities

Keeping the Family Schedule on Track

By Sue Poremba

When my daughter was 10, I was offered an opportunity to attend a conference in New Orleans. It was my first business trip and to a city I wanted to visit, no less and my husband and I decided to make a little holiday out of it. But when we looked at the calendar, we saw a major conflict on the schedule our daughter's spring dance recital.

We were torn. Her dance lessons were a priority for her and our family, but my job was a priority for me. It was the first time we had encountered a direct conflict like this.

In the end, my husband and I went to New Orleans. My daughter gave us her blessing, saying that there would be more recitals in her future. We found a compromise. We got permission to attend the normally closed-to-parents dress rehearsal. Before we left, we arranged for flowers to be delivered for the performance, and she had a large extended-family fan group in attendance.

Most times, family conflicts aren't as drastic as that one. In our own household, the conflicts tend to be smaller and on a regular basis: a football banquet at the same time as church school; an invitation to a birthday party after other plans have been made; a late dance rehearsal the night before midterm exams at school.

When I was a kid, setting priorities within the household was simple. School work always came first, and activities second. All of our activities were somehow involved with school, so the schedules fell into place naturally. The kids who held after-school jobs simply dropped their other activities. Weekends were family and social times.

That, of course, is ancient history. Not only are most familiesoverwhelmed with daily schedules, but the children are in more accelerated academic situations. It is not unusual to find families stretched to the limits, trying to make sure their children do everything and get everywhere. Everything is important, or so it seems.

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