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Happy Birthday Two You

Birthday Party Etiquette for Families With Multiples

By Jennifer Dawn Hans

As your twins get older, they begin to develop individual friendships. This, of course, can result in the arrival of birthday party invitations addressed to just one twin, often causing a sea of heartbreak. Not surprisingly, both twins can find this to be a troubling situation, and feelings of sadness and abandonment can take center stage.

Sheridan, whose daughters occasionally find that only one of them has been invited to a party, says she uses the opportunity to teach her girls that tough situations are simply a part of life. "It doesn't mean it's easy or that they don't feel left out, but it's easier to explain it to them and for them to understand that sometimes life isn't always equitable," Sheridan says.

Pamela Jo Dixon, a mother of fraternal girls from Mountain Top, Pa., says her daughters surprised her once by coming up with a unique solution of their own. When one of her twins was invited to a roller skating birthday party, the other chose to visit a pumpkin patch with her daycare group. Coincidentally, both events took place at the same time. "Mallory, who was going to the pumpkin patch, promised to bring Skyler a pumpkin and an apple from the orchard," says Dixon. "Skyler, who was going to the roller skating birthday party, promised to bring Mallory cake and a goody bag. That was interesting the way it worked out. The girls devised that arrangement themselves, planning to bring each other something home. I found out about it later but thought it was a great plan."

Want to see more?

• Happy Birthdays: Creating Unique Celebrations for Your Twins
• Two Kids, One Day: When Twins Each Want to be Recognized Separately
• Thanks! Age-Appropriate Ideas for Thank You Notes
• Talk about it!

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