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Wartime Parenting
The Do's and Don'ts of Talking to Children About a Parent in the War Zone
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
"Is Daddy going to die?"
"Is Mommy safe?"
"I've been missing Mom. When will she be home?"
"How come Daddy has been gone so long?"
"I want my dad to come home now!"
"Why doesn't Mom write us more often?"
If you have a spouse in the service, dealing with uncertainty and anxiety is a given. The demands of temporary single parenting, the regular accounts of terrorist attacks and U.S. military responses and the fear of possible death or injury of your loved one can generate an emotional strain that is difficult to manage.
In the midst of dealing with your own emotional issues and daily concerns, you are now expected to nurture children who are unsure, fearful and lonely and who are being asked to cope with uncertainty and change in their own young lives. How do you handle it? How do you respond to their fears when some days you aren't even sure you know how to handle your own? How do you answer their questions when the only thing you know for sure is that you don't have all the answers and are living in the midst of uncertainty yourself? How do you deal with your child's strong emotions when you are caught up in your own intense feelings? What's a concerned, loving parent to do?
The following do's and don'ts of talking to children about a parent in the war zone are designed to help you manage that important task. Consider these suggestions as guidelines. Use them as a structure to fall back on in time of need. Employ them to help your children cope with the uncertain and sometimes fearful circumstance of having a parent in the war zone.
