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Single and Pregnant
Creating Your Own Birth Community
By Teri Brown
ad to create her own birth community.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I contacted a doula and met with her for an in-depth discussion of what I need and want from my birth experience," says Larkin. "I'm having a homebirth, which is unheard of in Singapore."
Finding a midwife in Singapore was more challenging, but about 20 weeks into her pregnancy, a highly experienced midwife moved to the area from the United Kingdom. The three women met and got on very well, each sharing a similar attitude toward the birthing experience.
"So I have two women who will both be present at my baby's birth and who both share my views on the whole process," says Larkin. "I'm looking forward to having my baby in my own home with a team that I have chosen, who understand exactly what I want and have no difficulty providing it."
By creating her own birth community, Larkin has turned the uncertainties of being alone and pregnant into a positive experience.
D'Amico recommends that single women begin by finding at least one other person they trust to ask to be a partner throughout the pregnancy. This is the person that will come to prenatal appointments, bring you to the hospital and be with you through labor and delivery. You will also need someone to stay with you the first few nights you are back home with Baby to make sure that you are recovering well.
"In addition, you'll want to have a handful of people who live close to you that you can call on at any time to help out with some small little detail or another," says D'Amico. "You will be surprised how many times you will need an extra pair of hands for a few minutes."
Susn Isaacs Kohl, preschool director and author of The Best Things Parents Do
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