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Insisting on Solitude:
Making Time for YOU By Shel Franco
Can at-home mothers really be expected to be at their child's beck and call 24 hours a day? Is it really necessary for moms in the work force to leave their own needs at the door step, the minute they arrive home?
"When the mother always gives herself up for her children, they have a good chance of becoming self-centered, needy brats," Paul says. "They do not grow up having to care about her and others. They grow up believing that others should put themselves aside for them and their needs."
There is a difference between meeting a child's needs and satisfying their every whim. Few women would deny their hungry child food or insist that they stay locked in their room for hours in order for mom to attend a meeting. To do so is a crime.
"Obviously, if they are really needing her and she is not there, it can be neglect," Paul says. "But if it is just to play a game, and she is spending time with herself instead, this cannot be considered neglect."
Moms can say "no" to their child's requests for play, but they need to keep in mind that saying "yes" is sometimes necessary. Play is much more than pointless enjoyment. In fact, popular culture now thrives on research that shows toddlers and preschoolers play to learn.
Suzy Allegra, author and professional speaker on balancing life and its transitions, warns moms to be careful, lest they become a "me-first-me-first-me-first" person.
