Here's to Your Health

Why Friendship Helps, Heals and Makes Us Happy

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

Friends. It's more than the moniker of a hit television show. Without the frequent, close interaction of people in our lives, we suffer.

"Friendship – it's something many people take for granted," says Jan Yager, author of Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives (Hannacroix Creek, 1999). "They are unaware how powerful and positive friendships can be or they would take it more seriously. The right friends can help you feel worthwhile. School, work, parenting and even old age are better and more fun when shared with friends."

Everyone uses the word "friend" when referring to someone they know, but what does it truly mean? "The word may describe anyone from a casual friend you meet for a weekly tennis game to a best friend who's like a sister," says Yager. "One way that you might want to define a friend is by those qualities that are sought in a friend, such as commitment, self-disclosure, trust, honesty and commonality. Another way to define a friend is to say it is someone who is there if you are in need."

While people come in and out of our lives on a daily basis, some will bond with us, forming a friendship that will not only give us many happy memories, but will show us the meaning of total, unconditional acceptance. "Our true friends take us as we are," says Leslie Levine, a life integration expert from Chicago, Ill. "They accept us when we're happy, when we're grieving or when we're so stressed we can't remember our middle names. Not only do friends expect us to have some baggage, they insist on carrying it as well."

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