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Pregnancy Outside the Box
A Surrogate Journey By Kelly Burgess
When Phillips first approached Boykin with the idea, Boykin was against it as well. It was just after her third miscarriage, and Boykin didn't feel as if she and her husband had exhausted all their options yet. However after the second adoption fell through, they decided to seriously consider Jennifer's offer. Boykin was worried that another adoption attempt might also end in failure, and she also felt that having Phillips carry the child would give her an even deeper connection than a more traditional adoption.
"One big advantage was that I would be involved from the very beginning, and I trust her and know she's not going to do anything stupid during the pregnancy," says Boykin. "It also occurred to me that I would do this for her if the situation was reversed. My family tells us we have an unusual relationship because we're best friends, and that's not going to change."
Once they had made the decision, Phillips contacted her obstetrician and made an appointment. Originally, when they were just talking about it among themselves, they had thought that they would have Phillips conceive via in vitro fertilization (IVF), using Michael Boykin's sperm and Phillips' egg, which would have made Phillips both the biological mother and the surrogate mother. Their thinking was based on a feeling that the reason for Boykin's miscarriages was perhaps due to a problem with her eggs. However, when they did see the doctor, he recommended using Boykin's eggs and her husband's sperm, so if it works as planned, Boykin will be the biological mother of the child.
In the meantime, they're making sure to discuss scenarios such as the possibility of a multiple pregnancy, since that runs in Michael Boykin's family. In that case, the Boykin's would take both children. They also still need to work out some details such as how many times they would try IVF before giving up. But at this point, their hopes are high, and Jennifer's most fervent hope is that she can announce her pregnancy to her family by summer.
