Don't Divorce Your Children: Children and Their Parents Talk About Divorce

An excerpt from the book

By Jennifer Lewis, M.D. and William Sammons, M.D.

Telephoning Home

Ten-year-old Sarah wants to call Mom from Dad's house.

"I didn't think when I asked if I could call home that it would end up as such a disaster! I mean I just wanted to talk to Mom. All of a sudden I really missed her, even though it was only a day since I last saw her. I don't know why, but I kind of worry about her when I can't be sure where she is or what she's doing -- not that I think she'd forget me or anything... But anyway, Dad was getting dinner ready, so I asked if I could call Mom. Well, first Dad got that irritated look on his face and said it really wasn't a good time. Then he did his why-do-you-have-to-call-Mom-all-the-time speech... the one that goes, "We're having a good time aren't we? You'll be seeing Mom soon, so you really don't have to call all the time and interrupt what we're doing." Well I wasn't having a good time right then, but if I said that I was afraid I'd hurt his feelings, so I just cried. Then Dad got all worried and said he didn't want me to cry, and I could phone.

I wish that had been all, but it got worse! I phoned Mom and she could hear from my voice that I'd been crying. She seemed very sympathetic so I asked if I could come home instead of staying the night with Dad. Big mistake!! Mom asked to speak to Dad. Dad wouldn't come to the phone, saying he was "too busy" cooking, and told me I should say goodbye to Mom and come eat. I started to cry again; Mom started telling me that she thought Dad was being thoughtless; and then Dad snatched the phone, shouted at her, and hung up.